This morning I am watching a very interesting show on VIVA (channel 526 on Bell ExpressVu) its called YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. 10:30am
This show is out of England an it addresses families that are not eating right and attempting to help them. Its only 30 minutes long and if you get the channel I highly recommend that you watch it. I know these facts now, but it is still amazing to watch.
I found this clip on You tube.
Amazing huh?
As always, have a great day!
I’m not one to sugar coat things. I say it like it is most the time and I accept situations for what they are. I learned this wonderful skill from my only parental unit, my mother.
Oh yes, today we are going to visit the completely dysfunctional world of mother. Oh noh she did’unt. Yup, let’s do it!
OK so my mom is a messed up woman. I don’t begrudge her this as she has had a rather shitty life and the experiences have left her a rather cold and unemotional. I guess that would be self-preservation on her brains part. I am sure that a good therapist would have a grand old-time with her although cooperation would be hard. That said I don’t predict that she will ever become someones thesis paper before she departs this world. Actually if you ask her she’s not departing it but returning back to the dirt. My mother is an atheist.
So normal people don’t like to talk about death and its a topic that leaves most uncomfortable. My mother has a strange way of dealing with death. Actually its more like not dealing with it I think. The last funeral she attended was in 1981 which was my fathers. They had agreed to separate, we were scheduled to leave for Canada, he committed suicide. If she talks about that at all she will say that my grandmother made a spectacle of herself bawling her head of andwas a complete mess. Huh! Imagine such a thing? crying over the loss of your son? did I mention a son she lived with? her only child? crazy to imagine she was destroyed by the death.
So my mother doesn’t do death, she is unable to go to funerals and just ignores death. Last year my grandmother, her mother died in her sleep at the age of 97. They pronounced her dead, loaded up her body and it went off to be cremated someplace, the crematorium dealt with the ashes. This was the brilliant plan my mother had in place for her mother, a women who went to church on Sundays most her life. So her death was really wrapped up neatly in a simple phone call. Grandma is dead. Done. I imagine since nothing was in the paper and there was nothing to acknowledge her death or life for that matter that some people out there don’t even know she died. My mother, very messed up.
So as she gets older I start to worry about HER death. She has a house out in the country, horses, an active lifestyle outdoors. She lives alone and keeps to herself for the most. If anything was to happen to her I wonder how long it would be before someone figured it out? If she got bucked off the horse (again) and was hurt seriously off in the Northumberland woodlands? had more than a concussion? How long would she be there?
So because she is such an oddball I decide to talk to her about this stuff and explain my concerns. What do I get for my concerns? Well, she tells me that if she’s dead what does it really matter how long she lays around before someone finds her. I mean REALLY????? REALLY???? seriously, what kind of answer is that???
I then explain that it would be very harmful to my mental health to have to come out to Warkworth and find her body, expired for God knows how long some place. Not good for me mentally. I have managed to survive this fucked up family of mine quite well I think. I feel, have compassion, know love and lead a normal life despite all the odds staked up against me. Finding her dead bloated body might not help me keep up this current status.
I am amazed by the things and attitudes she has, it never fails to surprise me. So clearly I am going to have to call more often as it’s the only way I can be sure. To totally honest I expect her to take her own life in the end. Not now as she has her strength, her mind and life. I don’t think that as old age strips these away from her she will tolerate it. She likes to have total control of her life and I expect her to have that same control over her death. Sounds horrible but its a possibility I have come to accept as a likely outcome.
Well this has been a charming depressing entry, the inner working of my family, members total 2. I guess we are battin 50% normal if I look at it like that 
As always, have a wonderful day!
I cannot get over how quickly the time is flying by me. I remember as a kid being told about this but wow, it really is true. This winter has moved by with rapid speed. Prehaps because it has been mild, or maybe because I have had my mind so focused on other things.
This weekend was much the norm around here. We watched Zombieland on Saturday night and it was pretty good. I have always had a thing for the zombie movies. Nothing like some zombies roaming the earth in the perpetual hunt for brains to make your life problems seem minute.
Dinner last night was not in any way a good thing. We stayed at the mother in-laws and had chinese takeout. I don’t even want to imagine how many calories are in that red syrup the call sweet and sour sauce. I cannot lie. I enjoyed it greatly and that counts for something. I also understand that anything is OK in moderation.
Today is clean the house day, well really thats every day with so many kids. I need to go get some groceries too. At some point I am going to do some baking as I have a big bunch of over ripe bananas screaming to become muffins. I think my apples will end up baked into yesterdays muffin recipe too.
So this is it for today. Not very exciting. I have a small child moaning for the computer so will go.
As always, have a great day.
Apple Oat Muffins
The shredded apple adds moisture to the muffins. You’ll find that the batter fills the muffin cups more than most recipes, but it shouldn’t overflow in the oven.
Yield: 1 dozen (serving size: 1 muffin)
Ingredients
PER SERVING: 174 CAL; 4 G PROT; 3 G TOTAL FAT (0 SAT. FAT); 32 G CARB.; 19 MG CHOL; 248 MG SOD.; 1 G FIBER; 16 G SUGARS
Another great recipe for you to try out!
So today I got on the scale to see how things are going. I am pretty much “playing it by ear” these days and no longer logging my food on calorie count. After 2 months I have a pretty good feel for proportions and food qualities. I am sure that at a later date when I readjust to a different calorie intake I will need to log everything in again to get a sence for it. As of now I seem to be going OK with things though.
The scale reported another 1.9 lbs banished from my frame. This bringing the total to 31.8 lbs. It really is an amazing feeling to look at that number. Even better is running into someone I haven’t seen in many months and having them look at me with such shock. It doesn’t get old thats for sure!!
I am glad it is a small consistent drop each week. I mean I really would like to just wave a magic wand and have it gone but thats just not the reality of life is it. It’s a long road to travel to get to my destination, I figure that I should hit my target weight in the summer of 2011. That leaves a few months before my 40th birthday. What a great gift to give myself right?
So every week I can see a 1/2lb to a 2lb weight loss I am happy. I am doing this the right way, for the long-term, not a quick fix but a new beginning. As the time passes I feel my body building strength, the rewards of exercise and I know that this is right. It is all right.
So this is it for today, I am in a good place and I am thankful.
As always, I wish you all a great day.
Yesterday I told you about my yummy dinner and today I am going to share the recipe with you. I got this from Home & Gardens Special Interest DIET 2010 magazine.
A beef brisket is a tougher cut of meat so using this slow cooker recipe is well suited cooking method to bring out the flavor and make the meat more tender. It is cooked with baking and sweet potatoes in salsa and hoisin sauce, which provides a sweet and somewhat tangy flavor to this Asian-style dish.
In a 5- to 6-quart slow cooker place baking potatoes and sweet potatoes. Top with beef brisket. In a small bowl combine hoisin sauce, salsa, tapioca, and garlic. Pour sauce mixture over meat; spread evenly.
Cover and cook on low-heat setting for 10 hours or on high-heat setting for 5 to 5-1/2 hours. Remove meat from cooker to a cutting board. Cut across the grain into slices. Serve cooking liquid and potatoes over beef.
Makes 8 servings.
Per serving
344 calories
11g total fat (3g sat fat)
103 mg chol
382 mg sodium
22g carbs
2g fiber
38 g pro.
As always, have a wonderful day!!!
Today is a better day than yesterday thank goodness. It took me until 7pm at night to get around to posting but I just had things to do, leaving this on the back burner.
This morning my friend Dawn came over for tea and her son played with little Rachel that I care for. It was a nice quiet day all around.
I was up several times last night as I was worried about our pet hedgehog. It would seem that his water bottle had a malfunction and he had no water. He was really dehydrated and I was very worried about him. I basically tended to him every 3 hours and fed him water and wet cat food throughout the night. I tossed and turned as I was scared he was going to die. In the morning he was still shaky but I continued to feed him and by lunch he seemed much better. Kevin stopped at the pet store and got him some mealworms which he inhaled like a savage. I figure that the high protein in them are what he needed. So tonight he seems 100% again. We now have a water bowl instead of the bottle as I’m not going through that again.
Tonight I made an amazing crock pot recipe which EVERYONE liked. That I figure makes it a keeper and I will have to post it for you folks sometime! It is very rare that I get a thumbs up from all of them!
Anyway, I have to go deal with the wild animals so I bid you goodnight!!!
I can’t imagine what it would be like to have “extra” money. I mean at one point we did have extra money. Not much compared to what most would call extra money but some. Enough to renovate the bathroom and do some other stuff. The pool was a really big thing but thats on the mortgage so it’s really like it’s not there. The trailer was a big deal but the better part of that was a tax return.
These days everything is a struggle. It’s like a weight on my back that just won’t go no matter how much the bathroom scale drops. Each week I sit with my calculator and papers trying to find a way to make things work, planning and plotting for survival. Pay this now, try to pay that then, ignore that till next month. Cut this, moderate that and cancel this. Some will know what this is like, for those who don’t I hope you never do.
As the weeks pass I find my stress levels building and building. I managed above all odds to make Christmas happen and with that I end up with a pile of unpaid bills totaling several months or several thousand dollars. So now I am attempting to dig myself out of the utility hole. It’s a big hole and I feel like I am equipped with a spoon to take on the job. It’s a plastic spoon too and we all know those suck.
Nothing will make you feel more pathetic than doubting your ability to let your kid attend a friends birthday party. I mean thats pretty pathetic right? The harsh fact is I am not sure I can pull of the extra cash to buy a gift.
Worse still is the string of birthdays that are about to begin. My kids are Feb, March and April. I have to do this too.
So here I am in my hole. I am pretty sure I should have a husband down here with me but if I look around I sure as heck don’t see him. Just me.
That said I still spend money on things that are not deemed necessary. This weekend I got a new coat for myself, it cost $50, I felt guilty about it so let Kevin get a $20 game. I should have put that money on the hydro bill. My coats are so big on me now and they feel sort of stupid on me. I feel like I am still as big as I was when I have them on. I guess that it’s the same with most of my clothes. I don’t feel like I have taken it off, even though my clothes are too big, jeans belted tight or they would fall off. I stick to my yoga pants and tops that fit me right. My point is that I still spent money on something even though I shouldn’t. I debated about returning it tonight but it makes me feel even sadder to think that my life has reached a low that I can’t even have a coat that fits me. Then I think about how much worse its going to get in the next few weeks. This I quickly avoid because I am not mentally prepared to deal with the thought of this. I know it ends up with me working retail evenings and on the weekends. I hate retail.
So today is a rather dim day. I was low when I woke up and it only got worse with every waking minute. I try not to think about it but how can I not? Its my family, my home and my life that this impacts.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Maybe tomorrow I will feel better about my life and myself. The 30lb loss is the only sparkle I have today and I hold onto it tightly.
As always I wish you all a good day, better than mine at the least!
When someone shares something of value
with you and you benefit from it, you have a
moral obligation to share it with others.
I had an e mail sent to me today about butter and margarine and I thought I would share it with you.
Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys. When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the research wanted a payback so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get their money back.
It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added the yellow colouring and sold it to people to use in place of butter. How do you like it? They have come out with some clever new flavourings..
DO YOU KNOW.. The difference between margarine and butter?
Read on to the end…gets very interesting!
Both have the same amount of calories.
Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams; compared to 5 grams for margarine.
Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.
Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients found in other foods.
Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has few and
only because they are added!
Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavours of other foods.
Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years .
And now, for Margarine..
Very High in Trans fatty acids.
Triples risk of coronary heart disease .
Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol)
Increases the risk of cancers up to five times..
Lowers quality of breast milk.
Decreases immune response.
Decreases insulin response.
And here’s the most disturbing fact…. HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING!
Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC…. and shares 27 ingredients with PAINT
These facts alone were enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance).
You can try this yourself:
Purchase a tub of margarine and leave it open in your garage or shaded area. Within a couple of days you will notice a couple of things:
* no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something)
* it does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value ; nothing will grow on it. Even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not find a home to grow. Why? Because it is nearly plastic . Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?
Interesting stuff to ponder huh?
As always, I wish you a wonderful day!
Nothing will make you feel better than pushing your limits.
Today I went to Optimum Bodies for a boot camp. Usually I would have training but my family made her sick so thats a no go! I used to do a boot camp on Saturdays but this one was different. It is amazing how each instructor makes things unique to their style and personality. Today’s was faster paced than the class I took on Saturday’s which is good for pushing you harder. Modifying the leg exercises to be in a safe range for my knees leaves me feel like I have achieved a full body workout. I think this is the advantage to a smaller independent gym environment and not a large structured one. Having a team that understands your needs and can help you set reachable goals on a personal level. I have done both over the years and I can say that I like this smaller structure better.
I think there was a pretty good turnout for the start of a new program. This is run as a pay-as- you- go pay-what-you-can class. I think it is a wonderful commitment to the community to offer a class like this.
The rest of my day will be the normal crap. I will soon begin the task of cooking chicken wings in a vat of grease (deep fryer) then BBQ them. I will be having a salad and sandwich as I am pretty sure that chicken would upset my stomach at this point in the game. I’m not THAT stupid!!
My week should be pretty normal too I think. All the hot lunch stuff is organized and unless an order was lost in space (which usually happens to at least one order a month) it will all go smoothly. I have no plans what so ever. No meetings, no paperwork, just me and the TV each evening except Thursday.
I am thinking that I will introduce the treadmill again this week. I have actually missed doing it. I will give it a try and see how my knees are the next day.
There is the possibility of me joining the next group of girls to start Cheeky girls at the end of the month. Financially it is a bad decision as I really shouldn’t be spending money in our current situation. That said I really feel like this is another big part of the journey I am on. I have worked so hard to feel better about the outside (still along way to go) but I feel that there is much work to do on the inside too. I know that some may think that this class is a rather odd, I mean is it a life or death situation for me to learn how to dance provocatively? with a pole? OK no it is not. It’s really about the confidence I will gain from the experience. I really think that is the bigger picture.
The only bad thing is that Cheeky is also on Thursday nights which means that I will need to either find a different class or give up Aqua for a while. In the summer that won’t be so bad as I can do it nightly in my pool, but thats not till the end of June. I love Aqua!
Anyway, I’m late posting today but as always enjoy whats left of your day!
