Pishposh71's Blog

Day 662: Struggles

Posted in Uncategorized by pishposh71 on September 28, 2011

When we where kids we just wanted to grow up. It was going to be so much easier when we grew up.

Then we grow up……..

We realize that although we can pick our bedtime and pick our TV shows life is far harder than we thought it would be.  I guess that’s why I have been missing from here for so long.  My weight is still dropping, my attitude is still evolving but there are many other factors in play with my life as a whole and some are hard to write about.

This blog is really my place to process, some people who read it are my personal friends, others I have met along the road of finding me, others don’t know me personally (although anyone who is dedicated to reading a persons blog will know that you may as well know that person entirely) and then whoever else stumbles across me.

This has been my place, my silent voice.  Now I find myself at a point that requires gut wrenching soul-searching.  Should my life of reached a point that I could only bear my soul like this? At what point did I become this person? Shut off and unable to express myself within my own home?

This one last hurdle to jump through, no doubt the biggest and most painful one that I need to face to date. No irony  that I saved it for last really.

All that weight. All that negative thinking. All the stress. All the pain bottled down. The question really is can I find a way to move past it all and make a better life for myself or am I going to spin in circles in fear?

How strong am I?

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