Pishposh71's Blog


Day 481: Blogging Our Way To Success

In this wonderful world of virtual socialization I have come to discover that there are many women out there who are just like me, struggling through the same feelings and experiences.  I have been fortunate enough to discover two fellow travelers who are just at the beginning of this journey and although neither of them have quite as far to go as I do its nice to see someones story from start to finish.  I have added links to both their spaces to the right of this page incase you wish to take a peek!  I know that I will read them daily and look for words of encouragement on the pages and hopefully offer the same in return.

Yesterday was another normal day for me, all the usual mundane things that are when you are a stay at home mom.  The highlight of my days as of late is my late afternoon trips to the gym.  I find myself looking forward to this time and am hoping this means I might become a gym junkie of sorts!

The daily workout :

Treadmill—————- 5 minutes—————6-135-147
Abdominal Machine—————–60 lbs 3 sets of 10
Seated Row————————–75 lbs 3 sets of 10
Standing dumbbell curls————- 2 x 15 lbs 3 sets of 10
Incline press Machine—————-2 x 10 lbs (+ bar weight of 21) 3 sets of 8
Shoulder Press————————25 lbs 3 sets of 10
Abduction Machine—————-65 lbs 3 sets of 15
Adduction Machine —————50 lbs 3 sets of 15

Crunches———————-3 sets of 15

Bicycle Crunches————–3 sets of 15

One dumbbell triceps———–20 lbs 3 sets of 15

Tricep Dips————————-70 lbs 3 sets of 10
Side ups—————————- no weight 3 sets of 15 (over the cone core)

 

Estimated calories burned:  543

Time to complete: about an hour

Daily Food intake:

8am: Pumpkin spice pancakes with no sugar added syrup

11am: Egg whites with veggies

1pm: cup of yogurt and 12 almonds

3pm: protein shake

5.30pm: egg whites, broccoli and 2 turkey meatballs

8.30pm: egg whites with 20g of light cheddar cheese

Day 480: Its a slow race

Posted in Re Inventing Me by pishposh71 on March 30, 2011
Tags: , , , , ,

There are days that I think of my body like a teenager.

Not like all firm and perfect though. More like all sulky, bitchy and moody doing everything in its power to piss of the authority figures (which in this case would be my brain).  I have been busting my ass the last 8 weeks to get back on track again.  To remove that little 16 lb slip that happened when I dropped the ball last Christmas and forgot to hold myself accountable.  My body with forthcoming to start with and the pounds started to slip off again, we hit a lull three weeks ago which was resolved with some serious restraints on what and how I would eat.  This worked well too. I became very excited as the scale moved back toward my original point.  Now however it seems to want to hover at the same mark again.  I need to get that 4 to be a 0 again and then I can move forward again.  I will have returned to the point I left off.

This may not make sense to someone new here, hell being excited to weigh 200 lbs again may seem sad to some.  For me though? It means I have undone a winters worth of damage and put the train back on the tracks so to speak.  Breaking that pesky 200 lb mark has been a struggle to say the least.  My body wants to fight me on this every step of the way but this is one battle it’s not going to win.

So I wait for the weekend to arrive so I can climb on the scale again.  I need to see a positive result for my own mental health. If I don’t? well  we will keep going and figure out what to adjust to see more results.

This week I have been to the gym every day.  Creating workouts has been a rather fun experience for me.  I have always been directed what to do (which is fine by me in this area of my life) but it feels good to be teaching myself what exercises do what and actually thinking about what I am doing.

Yesterdays workout looked like this:

Treadmill—–5 minutes——–level 6-135-147
Leg Extension machine———–45 lbs 3 sets of 15
Seated Curl Machine———65 lbs  3 sets of 15
Abduction machine———–65 lbs 3 sets of 15
Adduction machine————50 lbs 3 sets of 15
Angled Leg press————–120 lbs 3 sets of 15
Plank—————60 seconds ( a REAL plank up on my legs not my knees!!!!!!!!!!) only once though 🙂
Dumbbell front raise———-2 x 10 lbs 3 sets of 10
Incline Press machine———–41 lbs ( 10 x 2 plus bars 10.5 lbs x2) 3 sets of 8
Abdominal Machine————–60 lbs 3 sets of 10
Crunch on mat————–no weight 3 sets of 15
One dumbbell triceps————-20 lbs 3 sets of 15
Side Ups————————no weight 3 sets of 15
Total calories they estimate burned based on my weight is 581
Time to complete: 1 hour

As for food:

8am  200 grams egg white with veggies, slice of Ezekiel 4:9 bread toasted, 1 tsp becel Olivia, 1/2 cup OJ

11am 1/2 grilled cheese sandwich ( it was an accident) and a protein shake

3pm  yogurt and strawberries

6pm chicken stir fry (no rice) and a really gross Weight watchers lemon cake (wont eat that again)

8.30pm  250g egg whites and 20g light cheddar cheese

Day 479: Words

Yesterday I was over on the Eat Clean Kitchen Table reading various stories and quotes.  Most of what I read now makes total sense and I have a understanding of what people are feeling or experiencing.  I suddenly realized that this has a significant meaning.  I have reached a point where I can remember feeling a certain way about myself or the way I lived.  What a terrific feeling to suddenly get that I am on the road to being me again.  Not just waiting at the light to go but well on my way.

One member over there really resonates with me.  I feel her pain and recognize it for what it is, what it always was and would remain until she sees it for what it is.  Her recent post really rang home with its truth and I was so happy to see her reach this point.  Her quote was, “TO CURE JEALOUSY IS TO SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS, A DISSATISFACTION WITH SELF”.  No truer words could be said.  Admitting to the world and yourself that you don’t believe in yourself or your worth is the first painful truth you need to make in order to get up and build yourself up.  I know this first hand.  It is easy to hide self hate within yourself but much braver to own it and begin healing.  Just the act itself is half the battle because once you do it you have the strength to push yourself.

Another post talked about a positive attitude toward your success.  It seems silly that little words can change how you respond to situations and your own motivation but this is so very true.  I was a doubter about this one all around but open to try anything once.  It made a difference, taking a negative and finding a positive spin on it has to be a necessity if you want to succeed at this.

So these words are quoted from another post:

 

These words in your vocabulary have got to go in regards to your will to succeed….

“but” – “try” – “hope”

I want to eat clean but ______________ (insert any excuse here…too expensive, my sister does the cooking, i don’t have time to prepare, etc…)

That word “but” negates everything before it.

I am trying to work out 3x a week.

There is no level of commitment there. There is no real intention. Because if you don’t reach that goal….well then you didn’t really fail because at least you tried.

I hope I can run that 5K in 6 weeks.

Hope is not a strategy. Any real goal needs a plan….and a good sound one at that!

I wasn’t always disciplined. In order for change to occur…..your cuurent situation has to become more uncomfortable that what the situation entails for changing that current situation.

“There is going to be pain in your life. It is going to be the pain of discilpine….or the pain of regeret.”


Kodiak Travel Trailer Information

Posted in Uncategorized by pishposh71 on March 28, 2011

This one may seem rather out of place in a blog that focuses mainly on weight loss and motivational tool to build ones self back up.  That said I do need to post the trailer info someplace right??

So here it is, details about our trailer for those who maybe using it!!!

INTERIOR INFORMATION

The upper cabinet has all the dishes in it you should need.

Pots and pans are in cupboard underneath the stove.

IMPORTANT!!!  TURN ON VENT WHEN COOKING



The gold switch will put the slide in and out.

IMPORTANT!!!!!Take the table down before you push the slide in. The 2 silver legs go in front storage.

The slide will tilt upward a little  then slides in when you close it.

2 white switches below the gold switch work ceiling lights.

Stereo is your standard type.  Ensure that you turn it off with the power switch or it will drain the battery when not in use.

In between the fridge and the freezer you will see a switch.  This tells the fridge how you are working it.  If on Gas you must make sure the LP tank is on.  If on auto it will select on the best option available to it. If plugged into electricity it will pick this option first.

The fridge should be packed carefully.  Consider the possibility that if you go over really bumpy terrain the door could pop open.  I recommend you used all sealed containers to be safe.

If you make ice cubes remember to dump them before you break camp.

Microwave is pretty standard. Instructions can be found in the owner’s manual (located in cupboard to right of door.

In travel the stove has a cover. It folds up when using.

When you go to close it you have to hold it at the back and lift the cover up lifting it up a bit at the hinges to get it to fold down. Do not yank on it or it will break.

To light the stove just turn on propane tank, turn on the burner to “lite” and use BBQ lighter to ignite. Always run range hood for ventilation.


Under the sink cupboard you will see a control panel.  The 1st switch is for the water pump. This is for camping when you have a fresh tank of water with no direct hook up. Turn this on and you will hear the pump pulling water into your hot water tank first (water tank is located inside cabinet to right of dinette). Open the taps for a minute and you will hear the pump run. Turn the tap off and the pump will maintain the pressure for you.

The other 2 switches are for the water heater.  Please note that if you are using  the fresh water tank you must first turn on the water pump switch  to fill the hot water holding tank before turning on the water heater If you have a power site you switch on the electricity switch.  If no power then use propane switch (make sure propane tank is on)

You can tell your levels by pressing the buttons.  The 4 lights reflect full and 1 means empty.  Switches show you battery power, fresh water (meaning your fresh water holding tank) Black water (meaning your toilet waste tank) Grey water (meaning your sinks and shower waste). When the black and grey tanks are full you can’t use them until dumped.

Just inside the door to your right is the TV unit.  The TV cannot be left inside the trailer in travel. It is not secured in any form.

If you open the cupboards you will find a cable that will connect the TV to the antenna plug located on the edge of the cupboard by the door.

In the ceiling above the TV you will see the TV antenna.  The handle cranks it into the upright position. The dial moves to actual position of the antenna.  In High winds you must put it in the downward travel position.  When you break camp you must put the antenna in the original travel position before lowering it to the roof. Place the dial on the arrow and then crank the handle to lower antenna..


Inside the cupboard you will find the top shelf holding supplies for your use.  Bins are clearly marked so you can put things back easily. Walkie talkies, games, bed fans/lights, kettle, toaster. The bottom shelf stores all our pillows and blankets. Please do not use these.

The large cupboard is a great place to store food or clothes while camping.

These  cupboards are for  your use.

There are cupboards above the sofa. The middle and right one contain our personal belongings (towels) which we ask that you not use.  The cupboard to the left has big plastic bowls, a tray and 3 roasting sticks for the firepit which are for your use.

In travel you must put the bungee cord back on these doors or the cupboards will fly open.



The bathroom is straight forward.  There is RV toilet paper under the sink.  To add water to the toilet bowl pull the handle ½ way. To flush into black holding tank pull the full way quickly.

If the  black water tank is not ¾ full when you are going to break camp just pour water down the toilet till the tank reads full enough.  The tank needs to be ¾ full to dump.



Please do not flush sanitary napkins or tampons in the toilet as they will cause problems with dumping.

Do not dump waste food in toilet.

The shower is a nice feature to have but if you are not on a private park with direct hook up for water then you are out of luck.  In provincial parks or any other situation where you require water from the holding tanks the shower is not an option. One shower is the equivalent of a full holding tank of clean water.

The air conditioner is located in the ceiling. You must have access to 30 amp power to run it.

There is an RV extension cord in the storage bin if you need a longer cord.  If you use the adapter to use the smaller orange cords then you will not have enough juice to run it.

The furnace switch is on the wall. Just turn the LP tank on and set the thermostat.  The vents are white circles.  There is one in the bathroom, one just inside the front door to the left and one near the rear bed.

Make sure nothing blocks the vents.  The actual furnace is located under the fridge so that’s where the noise will come from.  When you turn it off it will take several minutes before it shuts down. Make sure you turn off propane when you break camp.

SETTING UP THE TENT ENDS:


Unlock the 2 latches


Lift up the one latch

Fold away from trailer

Lay against frame of trailer.

Lower the end down gently. DO NOT LET IT DROP


Behind sofa are support bars. Long one is for the  front. Short one is rear bed. Clip straight bar into centre of bar attached to back of bed. and push up, clips in on ceiling.


Now bed is in position go back outside.

Attach the velco around the bed ends.

Pull the green down to cover the Velcro sealed area.

When you break camp you will do this in reverse.

  1. Lift up the green fabric
  2. Detach the Velcro all around the bed end.
  3. Inside detach the bar from trailer roof and store behind sofa.
  4. Pull U bar free from canvas so it lays flat and free on the board.
  5. Outside push all the canvas in over the support ropes.
  6. Close bed end up paying attention that the canvas is not catching in the door.
  7. Shut and lock the bars in place. Lock with key.
  8. 8. IF THE CANVAS IS WET YOU MUST TELL US ON RETURN SO WE CAN OPEN IT UP TO DRY

The dinette and the sofa are part of the power slide out.  It is VERY IMPORTANT that you take the table down before engaging this switch to close. The table legs go inside the front storage bin and the table fits on a ledge in the middle at cushion height.

The sofa should be in the upright position.

The mattress from the front bed lays on top of the table.

Inside the storage compartment there are many tings available for your use.  Please don’t use the fishing rods, sand toys or nets. These are my children’s and they would be upset if stuff was lost or damaged.

Underneath the Kitchen sink you will find a bunch of stuff!  In the Yellow bag there is a bug zapper that you are welcome to use.  You can  plug it in on the exterior outlet.

Please supply your own garbage bags and such.

There are oven mitts and the drawer but please bring your own tea towels and cloths.

Also you will find a box of latex gloves in this cupboard to wear when using the dumping stations.

THE BBQ

The instructions for the BBQ are with the trailer books. I highlighted the set up/ fold down for you.

The BBQ has a quirk with the lid which is simple to resolve.

When you go to close the lid it will catch at the back and not go down.

Simply use your BBQ tongs. Place them in the ventilation holes on the back of the red lid and lift up. This will allow the lid to shut.

Do not force lid down as it will damage the BBQ.

STORAGE AREA

The keys for the storage are scratched with a RS and LS. This is assuming you are standing to the front of the trailer.  The right storage door: access to the area we keep leveling bricks, leveling wood, stabilizing crank for trailer, bar for sway control, wheel kicks.

The left side door: access to chairs, tarps, washing line.

Inside storage door: access to extention cords, garden hose.

EMPTYING THE FRESH WATER TANK

When you have finished packing up trailer and are ready to go just go to the rear of the trailer.  Look underneath and you will see a large white tank.  On the front of that tank is a white plastic lever tap.  Open that tap up and any water remaining will drain out as you drive.  Remember to close the tap when you arrive back to storage shed.

DRAINING THE SEWAGE

Gross, but not as bad as in the RV movie !!

Find the dumping station and get in the line.  I recommend watching the guy infront of you do it.

When you are next in line get ready.

  1. Get a pair of latex gloves from under the sink to wear.
  2. On the back underside of the trailer you will see a long white cylinder . Open the cap on the right end (wearing gloves) and pull out the piping.

Now when it’s your turn to dump move up toward the sewage hole.  The actual pipe is just about a foot behind the wheels.

Once in position you must hook up the draining hose.

You will see a black capped pipe with a lever on either side.  Open up the black cover on the end of the pipe and attach the drainage hose. Put the other end down the sewage hole.

Open up the black lever first and listen to it drain. When it sounds like it’s done open up the grey lever. (The grey waste water helps rinse out the black waste water.)When you hear no more running waste shut both these levers

Detach the sewage hose from the trailer ensuring the other end stays in the parks drain.  Put the black cap back on the pipe of the trailer.

Use the red water hose tap to run water through the pipe to clean out any remaining waste.  Put cleaned pipe back in white cylinder and lock on lid.

The gross job is completed.

AWNING

Set Up and take down (2 people)

First you will need to find the grey bar in the front storage compartment on the right side.

On either side of the trailer you will see bars running from the bottom of the trailer up to the awning.  On the back of the bar you will see a knob.  On both sides loosen these knobs up.

Pull the 2 bars apart on both sides.

Now stand infront of the trailer with the grey bar in your hand.  Look up on the right side of the awning at the top and you will see a little grey metal lever.  Use the grey bar to switch the lever into the open position.

Now use the black strap you will see to pull the canvas of the awning out. Pull it out all the way until it clicks at the end.

Now look and you will see one of the bars is still running against the edge of the trailer on both sides.

Take this bar and slide it up until it locks in place on both sides.  This bar runs from the top of the trailer out to the front of the awning on either side.

Now use the levers on either side to move the awning up into  the upright position.

Use pegs and orange ties to anchor the whole thing.

In rain you need to tilt the awning to let the rain run off it. Angle awning so the front is tilted toward the ground then also lower one side on an angle so the water can run off.

To take down do these steps in reverse.

Day 477: Men, Vacuums and Cats

Posted in Uncategorized by pishposh71 on March 27, 2011

There are 3 important things you need to know before reading this post.

1. I have a husband

2. I have a cat

3. I have a vacuum- sort of

So my mad cleaning dash yesterday was the usual ball of fun.  I had it all done by the time my husband got home from work at one.  All the dirty jobs completed, just the vacuuming to go. I asked that he please do this job.  Now our central vacuum went ass up last year and I purchased a normal canister vacuum which completely sucks and not in the sense that it sucks up the dirt.  It also overheats and conks out.  We only have carpet in our bedroom, upstairs hall and the 2 sets of stairs so I havent really stressed out about it.  I recently got a small one to just do the stairs and this is what I sent my husband off with. So he is vacuuming away and I hear him moaning that it isnt working and just spitting dirt all over the place.  I go look and he is right so I clean the stairs in my other method. This one involves me wearing yellow rubber gloves and rubbing each stair down.  May sound crazy, but anyone with a Persian cat knows what Im talking about.  I swear that the fur is magnitized to my carpet.  One I complete the first set of stairs (note how now my husband has gotten out of this chore) I take a closer look at the vacuum.  I discover why its not working.  He has never dumped the trap out——-ever. The vacuum is literally stuffed with dirt, even the side attachment pipe has backed up down the entire tube.  5 minutes later and it works again once I remove what is likely worth about 5 canisters worth of compacted dirt.

So I have learned the following:

1. New husband—- to much work involved plus this one is housebroken

2. no Cat_—-great option but already attached

3. New vacuum—– yeah thats the ticket 🙂

Day 476: How many hours in a day?

Posted in Re Inventing Me by pishposh71 on March 26, 2011

I seem to always think I can get more done than possible.  I mean on a day when time is of the essence. Today is one of those days for me.  I got up and immediately started the attack of the house.  It seems that this is a war that I always lose at, this one and the laundry –  always bet against me and you’ll be sure to win.

So I do the usual 40 minute bleach spray and scrub in the kitchen, followed by a repeat again in the 2 bathrooms.  I hate this as my hands are always raw when I am done and I hate wearing the rubber gloves for anything other than cleaning the toilet.  We set up the tables in the garage and my daughter collected up the 300 candle holders I seem to have from my obsessive phase of Party lite stuff.

In the afternoon when my husband got home from work I had a wander around the mall to look for fake Ugg boots for my daughter. No luck being that it is the end of March.  Went to Lululemon and drooled over the overpriced merchandise and discovered that I can now actually fit in their yoga pants.  I wont buy anything till I have all the weight off though because that would be plain silly of me. I will however go back and purchase an over priced bag next week as my reward for hitting the 199 mark.  It is the TOM now so the scale was un cooperative with me today but I am hoping for that 199 next week come hell or high water!

Came home and continued cleaning after I fed the family a big plate of greasy saucy chicken wings and fries ( I had egg whites and cheese) I have a whole number on men and vacuum cleaners, oh and cats too but you’ll have to read tomorrow if you want a chuckle about that lot!

Day 475: Thats more like it

So last night I went back to the gym with my workout in hand, ready to really push myself hard.  It felt good to be driven and motivated.  I felt like me, the old me trapped under this sludge.

I am happy to say that I completed the entire workout I designed for myself and it was on the mark for what I needed.  I don’t think that I could have done much more in regards to weight or reps without having someone carry me home.  I did another leg workout as I didn’t feel anything from the previous days workout (much to my surprise) and I added in some abs too.  I think that I will have alittle bit of abs in every workout just because I find it pushes me.  My legs and my belly are the worst bits I think. Cursed with bad genetics in the leg department.

OK well I am going to post the horrible pictures of me in my bikini.  I know they are gross, but try to remember when you are judging how bad they look how hard I have worked to get to this point.  Try to remember that sadly this is a big improvemnet from what I began this journey with, and that by showing you this; here; well thats a leap of faith that leaves me feeling rather vulnerable.

So here it is.

So because I am freaking right now about doing this I am going to look for positives:

1. I have varicose veins. That’s bad genetics and not my fault.  I can have this fixed by my Doctor.  Easy fix, let it go

2.Cottage cheese. I don’t like the stuff but I have a barrel of it. I did have a truckload before so this is better. Eat Clean, and legs at gym can work this out.

3. Do I have a belly button in there?  Yes I do. I can see it now which is an imporovement from last year. Eat Clean and Abs at the gym can fix this.

4. Belly, belly, belly.  OK yes, I have a big ol belly still but it is recessing away.  I can literally see it shrinking inward and that my friends is a great feeling even if it may not look that good!  I also have a curve at the waist that hasn’t been around since 1997.

5. My bad has a roll of fat.   Dont knock it!! Thats one roll of fat which means that the other 3 are now BANISHED!!!!!!!

6. My face.  I have never been photogenic but that aside, I am delighted at my face these days. My head had become round and my chin had found a twin. Now it is oval again and because the twin disappeared I feel more confident to smile

So to a stranger looking at this it may be unappealing, but to me?  This is a step in the right direction.

Day 474: SNAP Fitness

Posted in Re Inventing Me by pishposh71 on March 24, 2011
Tags: , , ,

Well it was a success story at last. Not only did I gain entry to the facility but I even managed to assemble a leg workout by myself.  I was rather worried about this as I am used to being told what to do and how to do it.  Years ago I did go to a gym but the only thing I ever used was the step climber. The machines always seemed rather daunting to me.  This was not the case at SNAP. They are all clearly marked with how to use them and what muscles they work.  I used a sheet to track what I did, the weight and the reps.  Overall I was quite pleased with the experience so far.

Location is terrific for me, I can walk or ride my bike there in less than 5 minutes.  A big key element for me.

Today I plan to spend some time learning to use the website and how to design and track my workouts.

Day 473: Enough Already

Posted in Uncategorized by pishposh71 on March 23, 2011

Do you ever wonder if the universe just had days that are off?  It doesn’t seem possible but at the same time you cant just scoff at the thought.  We all have days that are exceptionally bad and theres that saying that bad news comes in threes right?

I have also noticed that I will often see numerous profile comments made by my friends on face-book too.  There will be a multitude of people all having a shitty day at once.  Today is an example of that, although I take today with a grain of salt because it bloody well snowed again last night and that is enough to push anyone over the edge at this point!

Today I have friends who:

  • feel guilty about ice cream consumption
  • is slowly going crazy 5,4,3,2,1
  • have PMS
  • almost got in a car crash
  • hates snow
  • is sick in bed
  • has sick kids and is off to spend hours at the walk in clinic

So you see what I am saying here?  Now me? I have some complaints today.  None that are going to do me any good but I will complain anyway!

  • Enough Already!!! We don’t want to see anymore snow!!
  • TOM.  I mean really? this is the big week I plan to break that horrible 200 mark and you come along and ruin it. Now it will be an additional week before we can have that party!
  • People who list things on Kijiji and say they want this much for it or are willing to trade. If you only want to trade don’t put a cash price in the ad.
  • Teachers who don’t hand in the hot lunch envelopes.  We spent all last night working on hot lunch and thanks to you will get to spend another night at it.
  • Gummy bears: why must the school secretary always have a pail of junk on her counter for us?? Its distracting to say the least.

None of these things really matter in the grand scheme of life, but since the universe decided to crap on our lawns I feel we are entitled to bitch about stuff today.

SO that it folks!  Tonight I am off to attempt a workout again at that local gym.  I think  we have  a second week for free as the owner didn’t show up for the last appointment (she was sick)

 

Day 472: Disappointments

Posted in Uncategorized by pishposh71 on March 22, 2011

Yesterday was a day of disappointments for me.  I struggled through the day avoiding bad food choices but it was a really hard day. I’m not really sure what the cause of it was but I am glad to see the backside of it today thats for sure.

It was arranged for my neighbor and I to go visit a small local gym last night.  I had been in contact with the owner through e mail and we had our guest passes and running shoes all together excited for a workout.  This place is a small gym (part of a chain) but its members enter it 24/7/365 by using their access cards.  It does have staff on daily from 1pm till 8pm.  Well tha’ts what the sign says but it is apparently not true.  So we stood there for 15 minutes ringing the doorbell and calling the phone number listed on the door before we gave up and went home.  Disappointment number one.

My husband had taken the kids to the library and then to the skate park for a short while. My oldest was home alone when I got back and it became quite clear that he did not hear me come in the door.  He was playing his x box online and was screaming and yelling through his microphone, which it not that unusual really.  That said it was more the cursing that was added in the lack of our presence that bothered me.  I quietly located myself at the top of the stairs and sat to listen to him for 5 minutes, it was very saddening and the first time I can honestly say that I was truly disappointed in him. So I went downstairs and opened his door and said,” I guess you didn’t F#@ing hear me come in the F#@^ ing door based on the F#*%ing way your F%@*^ing talking. You think your F#@^*ing cool talking like that?  cuz you sound F#@*ing stupid!!!!!”.  Dissapointment number two.

Now don’t get me wrong, I know my kid is no angel, I know that he swears and makes bad decisions from time to time.  It was the fact that every other word had to be the F bomb. He sounded like a total idiot and I don’t like the way that represents us as parents.  I swear, my husband swears but we dont use the F word  5 times per sentence.  SO now we have a teenager slinking around the house quietly.  Today I went into his room to get him up and being the bitch I am I said,” James!!!! Get the F$@^ up! You’ve got F^#@king school!” I will do this for a couple of days to drive the point home.  He doesnt like how it sounds out his mothers mouth then maybe he will realize what a tool he sounds like? well hopefully he will realize it.

The worst part is that its the first time I have felt dissappointed in him.  I have been mad plenty of times (don’t even get me started on the time he reformatted my hard drive and deleted all my important paperwork) but never disappointed.

The last disappointment is a small and rather insignificant one.  I have a list of rewards I made for myself connected with taking off the weight.  I am 2lbs off my next goal which is a gym bag.  I have my heart set on a lulu lemon one which I feel guilty about as it is expensive.  I really like apple green and I don’t think they have much in that color right now but I did find one on kijiji that was EXACTLY what I wanted and gently used for $30.  I could buy that without feeling guilty.  I messaged the owner but she hasn’t got back to me.  I suspect that it is sold. Potential disappointment number three.

 

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