Pishposh71's Blog


Day 617:Dreams

Posted in My Life thoughts,Re Inventing Me by pishposh71 on August 14, 2011
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I have this weird dream from time to time about a house.  Against my better judgement I buy it because the actual bones of the place are amazing and I see the potential to do so much with it.  The people who live there clearly are second generation homeowners as the house is crammed full of beautiful old antiques and a insane mixture of belongings ranging from youth to adulthood.

The oddest part of the house is on the lower level where there are 6 bedrooms each equipped with a medical bathroom. Apparently this area was designed to accommodate the first generations families children who had various medical complications in their lives.  This area of the house made me uncomfortable but I saw the potential again to create a B&B idea as the house was a walkout style basement.

Anyway I bought the house, it was a good price and although I was concerned about the time it would take to make it perfect I felt it a good challenge for me.  On the day I took ownership I realized that I had my work cut out for me.  Some of the personal effects had been removed but for the better part the house remained as was, heavily cluttered with years of belongings.  There was a beautiful antique roll top desk bursting with papers and bills (I always wanted a desk like that) and it was the first thing I tidied up.

I began to worry about what I had done buying this house. About the undertaking of this job. I sat by the kidney-shaped concrete pool (we don’t have concrete pools in Canada though) and looked at the leaves floating on the water. I wondered if the pool was the only thing that was really in functioning order.

Now remember that I have had this dream many times so this is a piecing together of many dreams into one tale.

Last night I was busy taking control of a massive room on the lower level.  It was about 15 feet wide and at least 60 feet long.  It ran the entire length of the back of the house with some windows and several doors opening into the backyard. It was full of everything.  I am sure I saw at least 15 bikes, skis, snowshoes, more and more clothes in boxes, it was overwhelming to say the least.  I had 3 boys (well older teens anyway) who were helping me haul stuff outside onto a patio area. I know that’s what we did but I don’t recall actually seeing the space cleared out.  I decided this was going to be a library type hallway with some chairs and what not throughout it.

I remember going into the area with the medical bedrooms to get some books, there was a room off one bedroom full of children’s books and I thought to start a pile in one corner of my project room of all the books I could find in the house. I ended up getting the boys to do it as I just couldn’t feel comfortable in that area of the house. Those rooms make me feel very sick to my stomach.

I’m sure that there’s a lot of self exploration in this repeated dream of mine. Me, the girl who finds such happiness in the simple pleasures of design is likely processing a lifetime of demons behind that subconscious storyline.

Either way I was awake by 7am and unable to get back to sleep. I decided to write it down for once. MAybe my brain can do more with it visiting it again in the conscious word.

Part of me really hopes that one day I dream about that house being completed. I think that is really important.

 

Day 601: Look who’s up!

Posted in Re Inventing Me by pishposh71 on July 29, 2011

I am madly impressed with myself today. I have no reason to be up yet as I have no kids till later but yet I still got up early. Not my usual take on a morning off that’s for sure.

Not much new to report since I last wrote.

Last night I got to see a friend who relocated to a new school. Still lives in the same spot but her going back to work and her kids switching schools makes our time together a lot less.

It was great to see her, and even greater to listne to her perception on me.  Its been about 2 months since we have seen eachother but she said she could see noticable changes to my figure and even more to my attitude.  Who would have thought my life could turn around so much?

 

Day 600: Summer Days

Posted in Re Inventing Me by pishposh71 on July 28, 2011

I love summer. I love the sun on my skin and the sweat on my brow. I love that my white legs turn a brownish shade (well for me anyway) and I love the sound of water splashing around. Simply put I love every element of summertime.

I think that weight loss clearly connects to mood too because now that summer is really here in full swing the scale appears to be working in my favor.  The last 2 days it has blessed me with a 191 lbs when getting up and a  193.2 lb area at bedtime. More reasons to smile in my books.

Life remains fast paced with the kids. I am always on the go to the pond to feed the ducks, the creek to look for frogs and fish or on a chair poolside listening to tunes in one ear while telling the kids what they shouldnt be doing.

I’m in a pretty good place with myself right now. I’m to a point that I’m no longer stressing myself out if it’s too hot to run, or if I can’t get my house perfectly clean.  I’m just happy with myself and it feels really good.

I think that I am a pretty positive person in general since I decided to fix myself up.  I am surprised that the sunshine has added to it. I was so negative at one point in literally consumed me.

So all in all? 600 days of me and im going strong, living my life and learning day by day.

Day 587: Just Me

Posted in Re Inventing Me by pishposh71 on July 15, 2011

I thought it was just about being unhappy with the fat.  I thought that it was just about having hip bones again and the ability to smile with merely one chin.

It really has been about so much more than that.  I have discovered so much about myself in the last year or so. I consider myself a new woman and I’m not even done.

Hello Me.

Day 586: Migranes and Running groups

Posted in Re Inventing Me by pishposh71 on July 14, 2011

Last night I was pretty freaked out.

My husband has started having migraines in the last year or so and our family doctor has sent him for all sorts of testing to see if there is any underlying cause.  There is nothing wrong with his head specifically so we assume it is environmental.  He has a good many of them and I have seen him throw up and hole himself away in the dark many times now.  Last night he had a headache come on and took a migraine over the counter pill and laid down on the couch. Halfway through Big Brother (I know this crap will rot my brain) he went up to bed.  When I went up an hour later I took him a bucket, a glass of water and a prescription medication he has.  Within 10 minutes he was being sick and I got up to help him. Once it stopped he took the new pill and laid in bed.  He was in so much pain he was sobbing which freaked me out to say the least.  I felt so helpless to help him in anyway.  It freaks me out so much and I worry about him and why he now gets them.

I did another 5K last night. Funny how doing this 3 times a week makes me feel like a bad ass.  Earlier this week I reported that my son did it with me and this time I added to the group. I am apparently the pied piper of running for my street.

My daughter decided to come which was of no surprise as she is an over achiever who will not be out-shined by any siblings at any cost.  Also my neighbors daughter tagged along. Kieran, who now apparently loves running was of course there too.  I did the route I took  for my very first attempt at a 5K.  Last time it took me 51 minutes to complete but this time it was 40.19 to do it. So I am consistent with my pace now with any route I do it seems.   The last few runs have also been without the knee brace and all has gone well. The woman at the running room said it was all about the shoes and it seems to be exactly the case.

Today is a day of trying to keep the house quiet. Hopefully my husband will emerge before noon and feel 110% better than he did and be able to go to work feeling OK. Non paid sick days suck almost as much as working in a production line at 120 degrees.

Day 585: Oreo’s

Posted in Re Inventing Me by pishposh71 on July 13, 2011

I can remember a specific moment in time involving Oreo cookies.  In my family (just me and my mom) we very rarely had any junk food available as my mom ran a über tight budget with the bare necessities of life.

Anyway one day after school in about grade 8 I came home and found a bag of Oreo cookies. I was pretty excited about it and so carried the bag downstairs to the rec room and parked myself in front of the floor model TV to watch a show (it would have been Family Ties, Degrassi Junior High or Growing Pains) and I methodically ate all the shells off the cookies making a giant baseball size ball of cream on the way.  I was pretty stuffed after the bag of shells were gone but I was committed to that ball of cream.

My mom was pissed off to say the least when she got home from work. Probably the last bag of cookies she ever bought and I am sure I got some sort of punishment for doing it.

I think that it wasn’t the best idea to have such a lock down on junk food. Her reasoning wasnt that she was a health nut but rather that she didn’t have money to waste on such things. Still think that everything needs to be in moderation.

My kids have always had access to junk, for years they had pop daily and I hoped that this would stop them from ending up a junk freak when they hit adulthood like I did.  These days they still have it but its a lot less than it used to be.  It’s really about moderation and balance which isn’t as easy as it sounds is it?

Time to eat egg whites and Ezekiel toast with coffee.

******do not google Oreo cookie images on an empty stomach. You will want to go on a sugar binge……..

Day 584: Cool Kid

Posted in Re Inventing Me by pishposh71 on July 12, 2011

Last night was a 5K loop again. I got dressed and went out the door. Stood at the corner waiting for the AllSport GPS app to locate a signal before starting off.  Here comes my son Kieran aged 8 in his skateboarding shoes calling out to me that he wants to come.  I had my doubts about it in those shoes but that kid has an abundance of energy so I thought what the heck.

Am I proud of my kiddo? Hell ya! He did that 5k without a care, told me he broke a sweat twice and talked the ENTIRE time (my DNA=gift of gab).  Me? I found that it’s getting better, I could actually talk rather than pant out a few words here and there. We walked about a minute or two for the warm up than ran half way, walked another minute or two and ran the rest of the way. Lets be clear when I say run I mean a fast walking shuffle. Took us 40 minutes and 19 seconds. It was bloody hot as usual, in the 90’s someplace but a nice breeze here and there. I find speeding cars are also good for a breeze and heart attack adrenaline rush too.

We got home, high fived and I told him today I was going to write about how cool he is!!

After a quick brag to his dad we where out the back door and cooling down together.

I never in a million years would have thought that the pool would be a running tool.  When we put it in 5 years ago I thought it would be great to float in and drink daquaris by. Now the only time I get in it is to cool off from a run and let me be the first to say that first jump in is a slice of heaven.

Day 581: Boobs

Posted in Re Inventing Me,Uncategorized by pishposh71 on July 9, 2011

It should start off by admitting that I did not do my planned 2K run to the gym, workout and 2K home.  I did however do 5K including my horrible hill I hate.  My time was a horrible 41 minutes.  That said the last time I did this loop it was 43 minutes so it is an improvement overall.  I guess my times are relative to the actual map I run.  I guess I should do that first one again and see if I do it in less than 51 minutes.

The best part about last nights run is that I was totally into it. I just zoned out and went.  I walked 2 minutes then just ran till I was tired, had a drink and walked a few minutes then ran until I got home.  By run I mean shuffle along in a slow jog to be clear.  It was bloody hot out there even at 8:30 at night.  When I got home I ran upstairs and did a lightning fast switch from Lulu to swimsuit and jumped into the pool. OMG best feeling ever!!!!  I love having a pool, I love having a pool at night after all the kids are in bed even more. After my pool float I went inside and had a leisurely bubble bath. It was the perfect night.

Today I learned that speed-work will make me faster.  Today’s goal is to find out what speed-work is and how I can use it to my advantage.

Lots of my friends are up in Barrie this weekend to do the Warrior Dash and I have to admit that I am sort of jealous of them.  I think that next year I may actually sign up for one of these things and give it a go. Hell if I do the Barrie one I can even make it a weekend of camping for the family too and visit old friends.

Now onto BOOBS.  As anyone I have ever met can tell you I most certainly have boobs, they are a fairly predominant feature to my frame even now after taking off 55 lbs.  I had originally said that I intended to wait until I had lost all my weight (another 30 to 45 lbs depending on toning) to make a decision about these puppies.  I had hoped that as I lost weight I would lose boobs too.  As is the case with most large busted woman that’s not happened as much as I had hoped.  I was a 36 full c cup in the good old days, I then rocketed to a 42E cup and now sit at a 38DD.  That said I have decided to move forward with the plan of a breast reduction.  My physical is scheduled for the start of August which is when I will get the referral and my hopes are to have it done in January.  The one big downfall is that running becomes a no no for 4 to 6 months afterwards (that’s why I picked when I did) which I am not so keen on. I heal well so maybe I can do it in less………..

Day 579: I was thinking

Posted in Re Inventing Me by pishposh71 on July 7, 2011

Last night I was laying in bed thinking which can be a dangerous past time.  I was thinking about Kevin and Tony and the craziness of the Spartan 5K that they did.  I was breaking down their events in my head and thinking about the water culvert and how I didn’t think I could crawl through that.  I then stopped and realized that I was assessing what I thought I was capable of doing. Dear God! Is this how it starts??

After a day of inhaling bleach spray on a 2 hour  over enthusiastic kitchen clean I can’t be trusted to think straight.  I also ruined a pair of shorts with bleach splatter (good news is they where too big and I really did need to let them go)

In other news I got my ass up and moving last tonight. I am ashamed to say that I haven’t been to the gym or out running jogging since I went to Toronto for DO LIFE.  Its a bad thing and I’m going to get myself back on track this week.  Anyway I decided to give the AllSport GPS app a try as they offer a 7 day free trial (Hi! marketing guys! giving Ben Davis sponsorship was a good marketing campaign)

I mapped out a 5K route at home and had the husband drop me off.  I actually did about 1.5 km before I remembered I had the app and stopped to figure it out.  It took awhile to find the signals (I found out that it needs to face the sky when I got home) but did work and tracked 2.08mi of my trip which took 26 minutes.  I did the 5K in 39.18 which is an improvement on my last time.

  • first attempt 51 minutes
  • second attempt 43.36 minutes
  • third attempt 39.18 minutes

Today is a busy day for daycare and I am going to be drained dry by 5 tonight. I will go to the gym, I will go to the gym, I will go to the gym, I will go to the gym………………..

Day 577: The one with the husband

Posted in Re Inventing Me by pishposh71 on July 5, 2011

I have a husband. He is a pretty good guy for the most part but has been known to be lazy in some regards.

An example of his laziness?  My recent decision to drink coffee.  He was all excited because he thought this would increase the number of trips made to Tim Hortons (and he was correct in his assumption) as we went through the drive thru daily to order 2 extra large double double coffee’s, one with sweetener.  He knows that I am new to the world of coffee drinking. I am a virgin in a world off java hoes.

What the little bastard decided not to tell me was that they use CREAM in coffee. Not 10% cream but 18% cream, as in place fat directly on my ass without passing go cream.  Why would he do this when he knows that I am working so hard? and yes he knew it was cream as he mentioned it to his brother several weeks ago. Well his reasoning was it makes the drink order more complicated. WTF is with that.  When I do his laundry I remember to add the soap (even though its more complicated) when I make dinner I cook the chicken thoroughly (even though it’s more complicated) you can see my point right?

So husband makes it to the dog house.

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