Pishposh71's Blog


Day 479: Words

Yesterday I was over on the Eat Clean Kitchen Table reading various stories and quotes.  Most of what I read now makes total sense and I have a understanding of what people are feeling or experiencing.  I suddenly realized that this has a significant meaning.  I have reached a point where I can remember feeling a certain way about myself or the way I lived.  What a terrific feeling to suddenly get that I am on the road to being me again.  Not just waiting at the light to go but well on my way.

One member over there really resonates with me.  I feel her pain and recognize it for what it is, what it always was and would remain until she sees it for what it is.  Her recent post really rang home with its truth and I was so happy to see her reach this point.  Her quote was, “TO CURE JEALOUSY IS TO SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS, A DISSATISFACTION WITH SELF”.  No truer words could be said.  Admitting to the world and yourself that you don’t believe in yourself or your worth is the first painful truth you need to make in order to get up and build yourself up.  I know this first hand.  It is easy to hide self hate within yourself but much braver to own it and begin healing.  Just the act itself is half the battle because once you do it you have the strength to push yourself.

Another post talked about a positive attitude toward your success.  It seems silly that little words can change how you respond to situations and your own motivation but this is so very true.  I was a doubter about this one all around but open to try anything once.  It made a difference, taking a negative and finding a positive spin on it has to be a necessity if you want to succeed at this.

So these words are quoted from another post:

 

These words in your vocabulary have got to go in regards to your will to succeed….

“but” – “try” – “hope”

I want to eat clean but ______________ (insert any excuse here…too expensive, my sister does the cooking, i don’t have time to prepare, etc…)

That word “but” negates everything before it.

I am trying to work out 3x a week.

There is no level of commitment there. There is no real intention. Because if you don’t reach that goal….well then you didn’t really fail because at least you tried.

I hope I can run that 5K in 6 weeks.

Hope is not a strategy. Any real goal needs a plan….and a good sound one at that!

I wasn’t always disciplined. In order for change to occur…..your cuurent situation has to become more uncomfortable that what the situation entails for changing that current situation.

“There is going to be pain in your life. It is going to be the pain of discilpine….or the pain of regeret.”


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Day:351 How Do You Do It?

I was recently asked how I do this? work daily toward my goal?  I was originally going to reply to the message directly but decided to write the answer here in hopes that it might help someone else too.

The biggest thing is to really want it.  My 3 kids and husband eat all sorts of crap and I understand how hard it is to have it in the house.  I also understand that I can modify some of their eating habits but cant expect total change from them either.  You have to learn that just because it is there you don’t have to eat it.

I don’t find it too bad because I have a plan that I am determined to meet. (I know that reading that statement may cause feelings of hatred and the need to bash me in the face with a cast iron frying pan)

How did I manage to do this? how can I watch them eat chicken wings and fries when I don’t?
For me I had to hit rock bottom and truly admit about how I felt about myself.  I was 248 lbs when I started and was gaining at a slow but steady rate each year.  I told myself that I was better off than my other friends who seemed to always be drooling over the desert menus on a night out for dinner, then never ordering.  I meanwhile would never hesitate to get whatever I wanted.  I was the wise one I thought.  I am eating what I want to eat, I am enjoying my life.

Do you see that??

It took me a long time to see it.  The words jump out at me now and I see them as if they are in large font and Italic bold print.  I am enjoying my life.  Really?  Food is not a definition of describing life.

Admitting the truth

You would think that admitting the truth to yourself would be easy but it’s often not.  I mean how the hell do you lie to yourself right?

Well we do it all the time. It took an entirely messy drunkfest at a party full of people 1/2 my age who had had no babies, flat bellies and shiny new high school diplomas to trigger mine.  It was not my most dignified moment but it was one that turned on a light in my head.

I was not happy.

I didn’t like how people looked at me.

I didn’t like how I would wrinkle up my nose in disgust at my image when I get out the shower, how I didn’t like when my husband touched my flabby baby pouch

I didn’t like how I felt inside about my own body image.

I didn’t like me.

So what are you going to do about it?

I mean I’m  100 lbs over weight and have no money to invest in improving myself. What if I take weight off?  I can’t afford to get new clothes? I can’t afford to buy fancy groceries.

Its a lot of I can’ts and they are just excuses. I used them to try to get out of it too.

The reality

Money is an issue for almost everyone.  It really can be that factor that can derail an honest to goodness good intention plan. Its sad but its true.  Exercise can be done at home and doesn’t have to involve any expensive weights or equipment.  However exercise at home requires a strict mindset and commitment which is really hard to do.  I suggest that if you cannot go to a gym that you find a buddie in crime.  I think it’s better to have a work out friend than a diet friend.  If  you manage to get a mindset to succeed nothing will derail you faster than your partners failure.  I know this from past experiences.  So now my friends work out with me here and there but no one is on this journey with me but me.  I have one person close to me for this but I know that I can count on her 110% because I honestly think that my success means as much to her as it does to me, that said I do not think this is the norm for most people in this situation.

So to start the journey you first need to dig deep inside yourself and really think about what it is you want from life.  Why you really want to take this weight of and what you are willing to do to in order to make it happen.

Think about that a bit and then watch for another post.  ALso check out Optimumbodies/blog on my links to the right of my page.  Recipes and valued advice (this is my can count on her 110% person)