Pishposh71's Blog


Day 524: Feeling Proud

There are moments that stand out in life when you really feel good about yourself and last night I got one of those moments.

As anyone who reads knows I am eating, training and finding all my inspiration from one of my oldest friends training facility and her advice.  I owe them the world for all they have done to help me and I am excited about the opportunity to help promote them with my new healthy approach to life.

As their gym is about half an hour away I joined a local gym to access the equipment I need. This allows me the ability to train 4 or 5 time a week instead of once.  When I joined I think I was viewed as one of those people who says they want to get into shape but never do. I base that on some simple little observations I made.  Now I would like to input now that my friend has always had faith in my ability to do this, even when I sometimes doubted myself.  That made me feel really good about myself, but as a friend that is what is expected of her right?

Well last night when I finished my workout the owner of the gym approached me and said she wanted to show me a few exercises she had watched her trainer use the day prior.  As we chatted she got to her point, which was that she wondered if I would be willing to be a spokesperson for SNAP fitness, basically she said that they would like to utilize my journey to health on their national website.  I think she already knew that I would say no, which I did, but let me tell you that it was a huge moment of success for me!!  This woman who looked at me with uncertain doubt has come full circle and now sees me as a serious case.  I explained to her that although it was flattering I had already agreed to be featured for another facility that had been providing me with routines, diet and motivation for over a year.  She said she understood and told me that I was doing an amazing job!

Today I am a shiny yellow ball!

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Day 509: Shoes and Movies

OK sometimes the tunnel vision takes over of me and I end up finding a way to rationalize even the craziest of my ideas. These shoes are a prime example of this.  Do I need these shoes? no. Do I have anyplace to wear these shoes? no. Do I really want to spend money on these shoes? no.   The great thing about my new positive thinking exercise is that you can apply it to other areas of your life!!!!  Do I need these shoes? Yes, because they make me look forward to wearing them with my great new figure I’m working on. Do I have anyplace to wear these shoes? Yes! I can wear them to the grocery store and learn how to walk in them so when I do have an event I will be ready for it! Do I really want to spend money on these shoes? Yes, that is why I have a Visa card.

See? Isnt that great!! I love this new mindset.

Last night I went to the movies with a friend to see WATER FOR ELEPHANTS.  I am a big Robert Pattinson fan and so needless to say I enjoyed watching him in yet another love story.  Reese Witherspoon’s character was good too and overall I liked the film a lot although it was a little slow.

Today the wind is whipping around my house and making me feel cold.  Hopefully it dies down before tonight when I go off to the gym!

Day 484: but its Sunday…….

I am a lazy person at heart.  Deep in my core there is nothing I like more that to curl up with a good book by the fire and do nothing at all, or to sleep in, oh yeah, I love to sleep in.  I am so not a morning person.  I am that person who gives you the stink eye and may cut off your hand with a butter knife if you smile at me before my cup of tea. It’s just how I am programmed.

My husband on the other hand can get up and be his usual self.  It may take him 45 minutes of snooze to get up but once he is up he is up. I would like to change this about myself.  When I worked outside the house I was up, dressed for public viewing with hair and make up completed, fed both my small son (he was small back then) and myself.  We caught the bus at 6:10am to take him to the sitters. I did it without a snooze button and no one was hurt or maimed in the process.

Today I find myself awake and up early for a Sunday morning. 8am is a weekday thing around here!  That said I am still up (I went to bed at 2am) and motivated to get to the gym. I havent been in three days as I have been busy or sick.  So today I get back into my routine of workouts.  The three-day break gave me some insight into my body though. I had a chance to see what hurts if I let up on it a little.  I already knew that my right elbow was feeling a little off (I know exactly what I was using when I did that) and now I am feeling an oddity in my left knee.  Simple solution: I will let off on these 2 areas and let them rest a little.  Starting at the local gym was sort of like a race horse out of the gate, hard and furious, sooner or later it has to pace out!

So I am off to start my day.  One that I believe will be VERY busy as we are hosting my daughter’s birthday party here tonight. I have lots to do as I did nothing Friday night (sick) and spent the entire day yesterday shopping the mall with my daughter (what a great day it was with just us two) so I have no groceries for next week yet, or party food, or my weekly Wal-Mart trip (we have to buy and assemble a TV unit before Thursday night when the hubbies new TV arrives)

So I am up, have eaten and am going to bike to the gym (if I can get my bike down without killing myself from the garage roof) Today’s motivation comes from a good friend of mine, who seems to always believe in me and what I can do.  It means the world to me as I spent a lifetime being told what I COULDNT DO.  Friends that tell you YOU CAN DO IT are a blessing to my life, heart and soul.

I leave you with this quote by a new friend I have made on Facebook. Another success story and life greatly enhanced by the drive and determination to be her best.

“Self-esteem takes a long time to build up if you lack it but only a few poorly chosen words to tear it down. Words can hurt without your intention so choose them carefully. ”  Mary Kay Valenti

 

Day 483: Thank You!

Oh thank you thank you thank you for letting it only be a 24 hour bug. I was terrified it was going to be a 3 day deal that would ruin my entire weekend and all the birthday plans I have for our girlie girlie shopping day with my daughter.  I have secretly been looking forward to this time together for the last week.  Its fun to go off with her and shop.  I also know that the clock is ticking on this activity and in a few years I wont be a part of this anymore.

Our kids go everywhere with us, we have always been like that.  It’s not very often that we go without them.  In some ways I think that’s a good thing and in others I think it’s a bad thing.

Anyway, today was scale day and as we all know I am desperately fighting the scale to see 199 again.  My body has other plans though and intends to be a pain in the ass every step of the way on this.  So today the scale is 201.6 lbs. This is also after being sick yesterday so it may not be a true reading.  I did make sure that I drank yesterday, ginger ale and water all day long in hopes that I wouldn’t become dehydrated.  When I went to bed at 8pm last night I cheated and got on the scale and it said 200.2 lbs.  I had a chuckle at that.  Even when I’m sick that bloody scale won’t give me the satisfaction of seeing a 1 instead of a 2.  This is a big milestone for me.  It’s a mark of success that holds significance and these past few weeks have been a battle to defeat it.  It hasn’t pulled me down or made me depressed like it would have a year ago but rather I find it annoying and it just plain pisses me off.  Last year this would have made me depressed and think about junk food. This year it makes me want to go to the gym.  As the time passes the way you think changes and also improves for the better.  I am hoping that eventually I can get my family to make these changes too.

Thankful for feeling better and glad that I can get a workout in today plus pay for my years membership (thank you tax return) which is another positive step toward my final goal.

I have decided to be a little less demanding of the scale. ALmost 3 weeks ago I thought I would break that 200 mark and I am still fighting with it.  I would like to break it next week but I have accepted that it may take longer.  I understand that WILL happen because I can control that.  I also know that the WHEN is totally out of my hands and in control of this wretched body!!

Day 480: Its a slow race

Posted in Re Inventing Me by pishposh71 on March 30, 2011
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There are days that I think of my body like a teenager.

Not like all firm and perfect though. More like all sulky, bitchy and moody doing everything in its power to piss of the authority figures (which in this case would be my brain).  I have been busting my ass the last 8 weeks to get back on track again.  To remove that little 16 lb slip that happened when I dropped the ball last Christmas and forgot to hold myself accountable.  My body with forthcoming to start with and the pounds started to slip off again, we hit a lull three weeks ago which was resolved with some serious restraints on what and how I would eat.  This worked well too. I became very excited as the scale moved back toward my original point.  Now however it seems to want to hover at the same mark again.  I need to get that 4 to be a 0 again and then I can move forward again.  I will have returned to the point I left off.

This may not make sense to someone new here, hell being excited to weigh 200 lbs again may seem sad to some.  For me though? It means I have undone a winters worth of damage and put the train back on the tracks so to speak.  Breaking that pesky 200 lb mark has been a struggle to say the least.  My body wants to fight me on this every step of the way but this is one battle it’s not going to win.

So I wait for the weekend to arrive so I can climb on the scale again.  I need to see a positive result for my own mental health. If I don’t? well  we will keep going and figure out what to adjust to see more results.

This week I have been to the gym every day.  Creating workouts has been a rather fun experience for me.  I have always been directed what to do (which is fine by me in this area of my life) but it feels good to be teaching myself what exercises do what and actually thinking about what I am doing.

Yesterdays workout looked like this:

Treadmill—–5 minutes——–level 6-135-147
Leg Extension machine———–45 lbs 3 sets of 15
Seated Curl Machine———65 lbs  3 sets of 15
Abduction machine———–65 lbs 3 sets of 15
Adduction machine————50 lbs 3 sets of 15
Angled Leg press————–120 lbs 3 sets of 15
Plank—————60 seconds ( a REAL plank up on my legs not my knees!!!!!!!!!!) only once though 🙂
Dumbbell front raise———-2 x 10 lbs 3 sets of 10
Incline Press machine———–41 lbs ( 10 x 2 plus bars 10.5 lbs x2) 3 sets of 8
Abdominal Machine————–60 lbs 3 sets of 10
Crunch on mat————–no weight 3 sets of 15
One dumbbell triceps————-20 lbs 3 sets of 15
Side Ups————————no weight 3 sets of 15
Total calories they estimate burned based on my weight is 581
Time to complete: 1 hour

As for food:

8am  200 grams egg white with veggies, slice of Ezekiel 4:9 bread toasted, 1 tsp becel Olivia, 1/2 cup OJ

11am 1/2 grilled cheese sandwich ( it was an accident) and a protein shake

3pm  yogurt and strawberries

6pm chicken stir fry (no rice) and a really gross Weight watchers lemon cake (wont eat that again)

8.30pm  250g egg whites and 20g light cheddar cheese

Day 353: Believe

In order to succeed in anything in life you have to first believe in your ability to do it. Not think that you can do it but KNOW that you can do it.

I think this is a big element of peoples failure when it comes to weight loss.  I know as an obese (well these days its just overweight )woman that your self esteem takes a big hit when you feel uncomfortable in your skin.  No one really likes to admit thats true, I mean its whats on the inside that counts correct?  Whats on the inside IS what matters but anyone who thinks that no judgment is past on the exterior package is a fool.  Human nature at its simplest.

We are raised in a world that teaches woman about being beautiful and looking a certain way.  Todays generation may have the benefits of great programs like the Dove self esteem program but I still believe that deep down its rooted in us.

When you don’t have confidence in yourself it is very hard to build yourself up enough to KNOW that you can do something.  To BELIEVE in yourself and what you want.  This is an important key to changing your life and with the weight loss new found confidence comes.

So first you need to believe in yourself, you need to build yourself up to a point that you know you can do anything you want.  Most things in life can be accomplished with the proper mindset and this is no different.  So take the time to think about this.

Write out a list of reasons you wish you should get that weight off.  Make a list of reasons why you should just not.

Look at this list again, again and again.  How many reasons on the not side really count when you are honest with yourself?

Now write out a wish list for your future.

Ill share mine with you……..

  • I wish I liked my reflection
  • I wish I didn’t feel like people are judging me by my weight
  • I wish my mom would shut up about me being fat
  • I wish I felt sexy
  • I wish I could shop at normal stores
  • I wish I could run and play with my kids without being winded
  • I wish I could have independence and drive
  • I wish I set a positive example for my children

Now rewrite that list as follows

  • I will like my reflection
  • I will know that if someones judging me by my weight its in a good way
  • I will enjoy shutting my mom up
  • I do feel sexy
  • I do shop in normal stores
  • I do play with my kids without feeling winded
  • I do drive myself to the gym
  • I do set positive examples for my children in how I life my life

I will tell you that after loosing 50lbs of my 100lb goal I am well on my way to making that latter list true.

Faith in yourself is the key. Surround yourself with people who will build you up and help you feel and remain positive about what you are doing. Those who have nothing to offer in a positive or neutral stance just ignore.  Its as easy as that.  No excuses, get yourself to this point, to this mindset and you have found your day 1.  I’m at day  353 so its along journey but we all need a day 1 right?

Find your day 1.

Day 5

Posted in Re Inventing Me,Uncategorized by pishposh71 on November 10, 2009
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So it would appear to be another beautiful day in Southern Ontario. It is amazing how the nice weather can put me in a good mood!

Yesterday was another really great day. I was full of energy and so I managed to get some things done around the house. As we have recently dealt with the lovely N1H1 thing in our house I thought it a good idea to bleach down everything to make sure it doesn’t return. More so as I have many kids through the front door doing my daycare. So all the kitchen counters, cupboards, appliances, walls and floors got a good clean down and I was pleased to discover that it burns over 300 calories an hour! Motivation to clean? Who’d of thought!!!

I had a great visit with my friend who I don’t see as much now that her kids switched schools. Another friend came over too (although she should have gone home to do her homework. 37 and homework, crazy) I had a blast babbling on about my big plans and it was so nice to see them smiling and feeling happy for me. No treats to be had, just a nice cup of tea and good company. The homework ditcher is having a get together at her house this Friday and I told her not to take offence when I don’t eat much. There will be like a bazillion calories on the table (she says she can’t help herself, shes greek) I’m not to worried about it though. They maybe sad though, I was going to make deep-fried mars bars for them all (1000 calories per bar) which is now a no go . The nice thing was when they went to leave. I had told them about my friends suggestion that I reward myself each week with some little thing like a fancy Starbucks drink or something. Well as my one friend was leaving she smiles at me and tells me that she is so proud of me for the decisions I am making. SHe then hands me a gift card for Starbucks and says that she agrees with the rewarding  and that she believes in me. It was such a simple kind gesture and it meant so much to me. Each weekend I am going to get that “Fat free earl grey tea misto with sugar-free vanilla syrup” and think of her. Amazing.

So I said I would post a picture of me today, which was a lie because last night was really busy. I will do it soon though…before it falls away:)

I hope anyone reading this has a great day, and feels the love around them. It is all in your head. Believe. Focus. Believe. Will yourself. Visualize that better future. Keep your eye on the ball. It will be done.