Pishposh71's Blog


Day 120: First Crushes

Posted in Re Inventing Me by pishposh71 on March 5, 2010

Do you remember your first crush? I mean the first one that you really really adored beyond all belief?

I do.

His name was Sean Buckles and I thought he was the cutest boy ever.  I didn’t pronounce his name right though because I had never known a Sean before so I called him “Seen”.  I learned to say it right pretty fast though.  Nothing became of this crush but I remember it very well.  Funnily enough he ended up being a really good friend of my first serious boyfriend in high school but I was over it by then.

So what you may ask brings us to first crushes? what causes me to dust of the recesses of my brain to travel back all that way?

That’s easy, my son is almost thirteen.  Soon he will experience the first of many heart breaks.  I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  He has liked other girls before in passing fancy but there’s just one now.  He has liked her the whole year and is currently going out with her (again).

Sadly enough this girl reminds me a lot of me at her age (or a few years older) which leaves me with mixed feelings.  My son doesn’t need to be dealing with a messed up girl like this but at the same time I feel for her, I understand Daddy issues all to well, being an only child left to tend to ones self.

So I am waiting for the moment she stomps on his heart.  Amazed that the years have slipped by so quickly and he has grown into this person.  I guess for me its easy to think of him as my little boy because at thirteen he still is tiny.  The size of a nine year old really and only 75 lbs.

I can’t save him from this pain, I can’t save her from whatever she feels.  Its really just waiting.

First crushes.

I remember my first crush.

Do you?

As always, I wish you all a wonderful day!

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